Over the last few weeks I have been on a roller coaster of emotions when it comes to dating. First I thought I was dating a really nice guy, but that didn't turn out so well....Then there is the permanent roller coaster of my relationship with my Ex, Mr.J, who keeps stopping in and out of my life.
So as a result I have been begged to question my own thoughts on relationships. Am I ready for something serious? I seem to surround myself with relationships I know will not work out because I am afraid of having one that does. I don't think there is a direct reason for this other than the future completely FREAKS ME OUT!
Lets get it all out there, I am not a planner. If I know what I am going to have for dinner before noon I consider it a good day. If I have a plan for the weekend on Wednesday, that is a great weekend. I make last minute plans, cancel last minute, and my worst fear is HAVING to show up somewhere at a certain time and not having a way out. I always have a getaway plan. Are you starting to see a theme here?
So why would I change up the game when it comes to relationships? I constantly am getting involved with men that are like me, making plans last minute and don't always feel committed even when they do make plans. So why am I surprised at the end of the day that I can't find someone who is stable?
It is not that I have a huge amount of trouble getting men interested (is that too cocky??), but I am usually uninterested. I talked to a guy in a bar last weekend who told me he wanted his children to be financially secure...what? I am 24! I don't have a boyfriend! I am wondering if I can afford a Marc Jacobs bag, not college. But that is just me, and good things come to those who wait.
Right?
3 comments:
The best advice I can give, coming from one who was a train wreck with relationships, is to make a list of what you want in a man. When you make this list, not only are you finding out more about yourself and your needs/wants, but you are keeping yourself out of potentially harmful relationships. If a guy doesn't meet the qualities on your list, move on. Simple as that. And then any fear of commitment will be assuaged by the knowledge that you are making the right decision.
Hey, at least you understand yourself. You need to know who you are and what you want before you can possibly make a relationship work. I'd say self-knowledge is a pretty important first step.
Goodness, you are only 24!! Coming from someone married and divorced in her 20's, I say you have plenty of time. Both of the other commenters had excellent advice. And you know yourself and so many people are still floundering. You'll know your path. Trust in yourself.
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