Family Dynamics

I love my family, I really do. I love that they are there to support me in whatever my decisions are (such as flying off to Thailand by myself when I was 18 for two months) and love me no matter my mistakes (making out with my brother's roomate...). However, family weekends are exhausting.

I just returned last night from a 7 hour car ride from my sister's town in up, up state New York where she is going to grad school. First off, it is really far away. I rode down with my aunt, which was fun (we repeatedly listened to Jason Mraz and REM). My mom and grandmother drove from my house in Maine. We all banded together at last for a family "girls weekend"!

The main part that is exhausting is making sure everyone is happy. This was not made any easier by the fact that NOTHING was open in my sister's town on Sunday. I know it is a holiday, but seriously? And secondly, my grandmother has rapidly aged in the short span of a year. Since my grandfather's sudden death two years ago my family's dynamics have undoubtedly changed, but my grandmother has gone from being a spunky, athletic Gma to a cranky, aching, grandmother. I love her more than anything, she is the only grandparent remaining who I have a relationship with, but, it is getting harder. We are all trying so hard to please her, we forget about everything else.

My aunt, who is 11 years older than me and 13 years younger than my mom, said something interesting in the car ride home yesterday. She said "it is interesting seeing your Mom around you and your sister because she always manages to say the wrong thing." I had to laugh, because it is so true. Remarkably my mother has been able to strike the hard balance of both being our friend and mother, however it seems more and more lately that she is speaking before thinking when it comes to our life decisions. I think it becomes difficult when mother's realize they no longer have an impact on their children's life decisions. She has done the best she could and sent her children out into the wild, but still wants a tracking device to detect when they are doing something wrong.

But I am back from the madness. Maybe it seems more intense because we all try to get as much accomplished as we can in the short times we get to spend together. We'll see what happens during the week we spend planning my sister's wedding...