I'm Gonna Miss Him

The story of my relationship with my brother has always been...short. Growing up with a mere two year age gap (he's older) one might think that we would have been closer. But instead we seemed to co-exist between fights over the TV remote and occasional games of catch in the front yard. When he went off to college, I felt indifferent to the emptiness of the house. To be honest I almost felt relieved that the one person I could never live up to was gone.

I never visited him in college, he rarely came back home, phone calls were infrequent and too formal for someone you are related to. I thought thats how things are, that is how they will always be. In my late teens I came to terms with the fact that I would never be that close to the brother that I idolized through childhood, we would merely be...related.

However, everything changed when he moved to Boston after graduating from college. I was in my sophomore year and he came on as assistant coach of our varsity college ski team. I was unsure how to feel. Would it be awkward? Everyone kept asking me if I was excited, I didn't know what to say.

But it seems as though age does close the gap. My brother began to talk to me as more of an equal instead of his little sister. He invited me to parties at his house and talked to me about something other than skiing or how school was. One of the most painful incidents, me making the MASSIVE mistake of kissing one of his roommates, ultimately made our relationship stronger. I found out how much he cared and he figured out I was no longer the little girl that made him listen to Spice Girls in the car.

Since then we have been more involved in each others lives. I even met Mr.J (an acquaintance, so I knew I was safe) at my brother's New Years eve party. We call each other "just to talk" and talk about what is actually going on in each others lives, no skipping the good stuff. I NEVER thought that the day would come.

But now he is leaving *tear* for the Netherlands to work at The Hague, cause of course he is super smart and interested in helping others, we have the same genes. But for the first time, I am going to really miss him.