I'm Gonna Miss Him

The story of my relationship with my brother has always been...short. Growing up with a mere two year age gap (he's older) one might think that we would have been closer. But instead we seemed to co-exist between fights over the TV remote and occasional games of catch in the front yard. When he went off to college, I felt indifferent to the emptiness of the house. To be honest I almost felt relieved that the one person I could never live up to was gone.

I never visited him in college, he rarely came back home, phone calls were infrequent and too formal for someone you are related to. I thought thats how things are, that is how they will always be. In my late teens I came to terms with the fact that I would never be that close to the brother that I idolized through childhood, we would merely be...related.

However, everything changed when he moved to Boston after graduating from college. I was in my sophomore year and he came on as assistant coach of our varsity college ski team. I was unsure how to feel. Would it be awkward? Everyone kept asking me if I was excited, I didn't know what to say.

But it seems as though age does close the gap. My brother began to talk to me as more of an equal instead of his little sister. He invited me to parties at his house and talked to me about something other than skiing or how school was. One of the most painful incidents, me making the MASSIVE mistake of kissing one of his roommates, ultimately made our relationship stronger. I found out how much he cared and he figured out I was no longer the little girl that made him listen to Spice Girls in the car.

Since then we have been more involved in each others lives. I even met Mr.J (an acquaintance, so I knew I was safe) at my brother's New Years eve party. We call each other "just to talk" and talk about what is actually going on in each others lives, no skipping the good stuff. I NEVER thought that the day would come.

But now he is leaving *tear* for the Netherlands to work at The Hague, cause of course he is super smart and interested in helping others, we have the same genes. But for the first time, I am going to really miss him.

What I am currently coveting

I can't help it, I really can't. I have even bookmarked where it is currently sold on-line and I occasionally click there just to look at it. The scary thing is, I can't even afford it at sale price!

The silk blend jacket (yes, probably totally unpractical) is Marc by Marc Jacobs and on sale is over $200. I grew up in a household where we scoured the sales racks for $5 t-shirts and never bought jeans more fashionable than the Gap. Spending $200 on a jacket, that cannot be used for skiing, was NEVER an option. There is still a bit of that budget girl inside of me and splurging on a jacket, even one as beautiful as this, pains me a little bit.

I am hoping in the next few weeks it goes on sale a little more and I can convince myself to GO FOR IT!

Is Carrie Bradshaw our modern day Cinderella?

I have been thinking this for a while now. As a Sex and the City fanatic I often download the show to watch on my ipod while I work out. Well I started working out more, so ipso facto I started watching more Sex and the City. My final conclusion, Carrie Bradshaw is our modern day, feisty, well dressed Cinderella. 

First of all, she has an apartment most columnists can only dream of. Secondly, she seems to have a fair godmother that pays off her exuberant credit card bills (I have looked at the tags of Manolos, they are not on a single girls list of things to buy daily...). Finally, she believes in happiness ever after with a man that is an ass to her 85% of the time. I mean, why do people even want Big and Carrie to get together? He repeatedly breaks her heart, marries another woman, has an affair with her and breaking up the only good relationship she ever had (obviously HUGE Aidan fan), and constantly disrupts her life. Carrie's "happily ever after" gives single girls everywhere hope that the jerk they are dating is going to one day (ten years from the day they met!) will turn around and say "you were the one all along, I love you!" 

A relationship myth. 

But isn't that what we all need to keep believing that "the one" is out there. Here is to hoping he is, but if not I have plenty of dreams to keep me busy ; )

Image: BrideBeurzen

To Commit or Not to Commit

Over the last few weeks I have been on a roller coaster of emotions when it comes to dating. First I thought I was dating a really nice guy, but that didn't turn out so well....

Then there is the permanent roller coaster of my relationship with my Ex, Mr.J, who keeps stopping in and out of my life.

So as a result I have been begged to question my own thoughts on relationships. Am I ready for something serious? I seem to surround myself with relationships I know will not work out because I am afraid of having one that does. I don't think there is a direct reason for this other than the future completely FREAKS ME OUT!

Lets get it all out there, I am not a planner. If I know what I am going to have for dinner before noon I consider it a good day. If I have a plan for the weekend on Wednesday, that is a great weekend. I make last minute plans, cancel last minute, and my worst fear is HAVING to show up somewhere at a certain time and not having a way out. I always have a getaway plan. Are you starting to see a theme here?

So why would I change up the game when it comes to relationships? I constantly am getting involved with men that are like me, making plans last minute and don't always feel committed even when they do make plans. So why am I surprised at the end of the day that I can't find someone who is stable?

It is not that I have a huge amount of trouble getting men interested (is that too cocky??), but I am usually uninterested. I talked to a guy in a bar last weekend who told me he wanted his children to be financially secure...what? I am 24! I don't have a boyfriend! I am wondering if I can afford a Marc Jacobs bag, not college. But that is just me, and good things come to those who wait.

Right?

Why the Olympics are Bad for blogging

Yes, the Olympics definitely provide a lot of fodder for bloggers. Theres wins, loses, tears, celebrations, underage athletes, upsets, controversy surrounding the host country, ...BUT for us American viewers there at late nights, late nights, late nights.

For the past week I do not believe I have gone to bed before 12 am. Ok, maybe I am loser who needs their sleep, but I need my sleep. I have watched the Men's Gymnastics all-around, the Women's Gymnastics all-around, the individual gymnastic events, Bolt win both the 100m and 200m, and finally Misty and Kerry's gold medal historic win last night (ps we are on a first name basis because I have not so secret crushes on both of them). I mean all this event watching is enough to make a girl tired. Plus, I have been going to the gym more often cause after you watch someone run a marathon in 2 hours and 30 min, you begin to wonder why it is so hard for you to run 3 miles in 30 min.

So, by the time I drag my tired ass to bed, it is 12:30 and I am up at 6:30 to start another day. 6 hours is not enough to function (especially since I selected such an inopportune time to wean myself off coffee...).

But alas, it is all worth it cause I will remember what I was doing when Kerry Walsh hit the set point for gold...on my couch, half asleep, with a Popsicle wrapper stuck to my pajamas. If that is not glorious, please tell me what is.

My Family is swimming in Denile...

Yesterday my Mom and Grandmother were visiting my Aunt who lives around Boston. I have seen my Mom at least once every week for the last month and did not feel extremely motivated to sit in traffic for an hour and a half, but I hadn't seen my grandmother in a while and well...I have no food in my fridge. So I endured the hour and a half, bumper to bumper, traffic to arrive at my aunts house to find no one home. This is typical of my family and the reason I told them I would be there 15 minutes earlier than I actually was. They did drive up about 5 minutes later, but its the principal.

Anyway, I walk into my Aunts house and it STINKS! There was a mix of burnt rubber and crap fumes lingering in the air and NO ONE was saying anything. So I said "Why does it stink in here?" My Mom just looks at me and says, "It doesn't sting." Ummm, what? I am not one for sensative nostrils and this smell does not usually inhabit my aunt's house. My uncle just gave me a look and I knew, it was my grandmother's dogs who I soon found out had be sprayed by a skunk the night before.

I know my grandmother's dogs are her children. She feeds them from the table, does not let them out of her sight, and she holds conversations with them regularly. I am OK with this. I understand that since my grandfather died suddenly of a heart attack while he was running on the treadmill at the tender age of 67, her world has changed. She now has to live alone (although she is usually with one of her children at least 2x a week) and she has lost the one rock in her life. I understand she is fragile. However, there is a time when reality must be set into play because I do not believe we are helping the problem by avoiding it.

Of course as soon as I said it stank my Grandmother got defensive and threatened to lock the dogs in the car. Really?? That is not what I meant, but her drama immediately puts both my Mother and Aunt on edge. I am now the bad guy cause I stated the truth.

Do I think my grandmother will ever be truly happy again, no. Do I believe that this is just due to the death of my grandfather, no. Do I believe that sometimes people have to face what scares them the most in order to change, yes.

Living in denile has rarely helped anyone. So, give the dogs a bath.

Has Perez lost his mojo?

I have been a long time reader of Perez Hilton, what can I say, I sometimes love the smut. However, as I was scrolling through today, I noticed something. The comments that once averaged 200 or more, now seem to average about 30. This was prevalent throughout the first few pages. It lead me to question, has Perez lost his blogger mojo?

Perez has long been the indisputable queen of celebrity blogging. He has gained fame through his uniquely photo shopped pictures and scathing remarks on celebrities. In addition, he has had some infamous appearances on The View and fights with Elizabeth Hasselback (a regular on the Perez blog).

However, are people tired of the scathing remarks? I will openly admit that I have become more and more uninterested at the constant celebrity watching and bashing. Although I am sure to pick up the new People Magazine this weekend, I no longer feel the urge to venture over and read about how fat someone looked yesterday while on vacation with their family. No thanks.

What do you think? Is Perez sliding fast or just hitting a dip?

The Olympics are HERE!!!

Ok, I know, a little late on the uptake. Sorry about being MIA for a complete week. What can I say, sometimes I get lazy, writers block, busy. You may pick any of the prior as my excuse. I was in New York, Boston, and Maine last week. I got to see my brother all grown up and working at the UN, my parents (who still live in my home town, pop. 1,112) navigating the streets of New York City, and boogie board and build sand castles with some friends I grew up with on the Maine coast. All in all a GREAT week.

My attention has also been on the Olympics practically every night from 8-11 (please feel free to judge my lack of activity). I LOVE the Olympics. Even though I am a skier and when I was little would dream about racing to Olympic gold, the winter Olympics are never as exciting to me as the summer. Track & Field, Swimming, Gymnastics, Beach Volleyball, I have become fans of all of them. Misty May-Treanor and Kerry Walsh are amazing to watch on the court. Trust me, I played beach volley ball over the weekend and it is not as easy as they make it look. Michael Phelps wins not only because who doesn't like watching a 23-year-old athletic male in a speedo, but also he is FAST! Last night in the 200m freestyle he blew away the competition and beat the world record. He is 23!! He has 9 career medals!! What am I doing with my life?!?!

I think my love for the Olympics started when I toke a Niagra Falls trip with my brother and my grandparents during the 1996 games. We would all huddle around the mini tv in the front of the camper and watch the games. I remember that being the first time I really bonded with my brother over sports. Before it had mainly been about fighting over watching Saved by the Bell or SportsCenter.

Do you have an Olympic moment you remember?

Well, that was a first

This weekend I had my first irate dating experience. So I have been seeing Cyberboy for about a month and we have gone on 3 dates and had about twice as many phone conversations. He was nice, but there was none of that za-za-zu. Basically, I just wasn't really feeling it. (he does not look like the man to the left, but perfect image of feeling)

In the mean time, Mr.J has come back in the picture as well. Although we are not rushing back together, we are talking and hanging out. What can I say, I love the kid.

So I had told Cyberboy about Mr.J as a way to say "thanks, but no thanks." He gushed about how much he wanted to get to know me better, so I was a softie and caved into another date. Friday, I reeeaaalllyy wasn't feeling it, so I canceled (there were also scheduling conflicts, but essentially I said, no). I thought by now he might be getting the hint, but no.

So Saturday I finally bit down and told him flat out, this is not working. What does he do? Call me a money grabbing bitch, essentially. Now, I am not that materialistic, growing up in Maine I think it is hard to be. I don't buy articles of clothing for over $50 and always on sale. A $40 dinner out is classy and I would much rather stay in watching a movie than a night on the town. But it was not enough for him to insult me once, but I received three late night text messages.

#1 - saying "you used me for dinner dates"

#2 - saying "I knew you were all about money, now this proves it to me"

#3 - "You had a great guy trying to get to know you better, you ex will dump you again, you'll see"

So, I think 1 and 2 pretty much negate #3. If you were a "great guy" I doubt you would stoop to the level of accusing someone you had been on 3 dates with in the last month as using you for money. I also find it ironic as I work in an entreprenurial business where we work because of passion and not necessarily profit, and he works in the financial district.

Oh well, one for the books ; )

CNN - Really? I thought you were better than this

I have a love for CNN. I get their alerts several times a day, they report new and interesting breaking stories, and it is trustworthy. But today under their "Breaking News" section, I think I came across the stupidest headline of the week:

Study: Most kids' fast-food meals have too many calories

I mean, really CNN? That is your breaking new study, fast food is fattening for children? I mean, no offense, but I think I could have figured that one out myself. Fast food joints may be trying to mask their unhealthy meals with new additions such as "apple dippers" and healthier side options, but does that really out way the fat chicken nuggets or a junior cheeseburger. I'm going with no on this one.

The story goes on to report that:

"Nearly every possible combination of the children's meals at Kentucky Fried Chicken, Taco Bell, Sonic, Jack in the Box, and Chick-fil-A are too high in calories, the report by the Center for Science in the Public Interest said."

And...

"Burger King has a "Big Kids" meal with a double cheeseburger, fries, and chocolate milk at 910 calories, and Sonic has a "Wacky Pack" with 830 calories worth of grilled cheese, fries, and a slushie."

I still eat fast food about once a month, but I am not pretending that what I am eating is actually good for me. Just look at the name of the restaurants, I am gonna say that any restaurant with the name Chick-fil-A does not have my best health interests in mind...

So, I am going to say a resounding "Duh" on this report and give CNN a little bit of a get out of jail free card for putting it under "Breaking News." But the next time I see a headline like "Study: Smoking causes cancer" I am going to have to drop them from my feed.

An Ode To Manny

What has happen to baseball?
Remember the days when teams stuck together
Through the melodrama and injuries
Ted Williams and Dom Dimaggio
When baseball was more then dollars and Ws

So Manny had some attitude
Doesn't everyone in Boston?
We are a bloodied sox, long haired, rag tag team
We are the underdogs and champions
Did we forget who helped us along the way?

Manny's trade will go down in history
With Clemens and Pedro and Nomar
And those are just the ones I remember
What can I say, I am all about nostalgia

So good-bye Manny, good luck in LA
And no matter what some Boston fans say
We'll miss you
Especially when we realize this young hitter can't play