The difference between wanting and getting what you want

I have been thinking about this post for a little while now...and I haven't been quite sure how to write it all down. I guess it is because sometimes I am afraid about what I want. Not that its bad (get your mind out of the gutter) or even that unique, but writing it down makes it real.

1. Travel: If I had my way I would see EVERYTHING. I would travel to South Africa, Australia, China, Russia, backpack through Europe. I was told the other day it was too late for me to be so idealistic, is it? Every time I have traveled I have met new people I love, been to places I won't forget, and experienced moments in "the now." I want to feel that way again.

2. Live somewhere new: This is different than traveling. It involves similar reasons, but home is where you get to rest, where all your things are, where your friends are. To a large extent, this is still Boston, but its wearing on me. I have been looking into London, LA, and New York, my trifecta. I want to make one of those places my home for 2 years, just to see where life takes me.

I want my family to be OK with me leaving for a little while. When talking to my aunt about a month ago, she said she wishes she had just left and lived somewhere else, not let our family hold her back. I don't like to think about it that way. I don't think they're holding me back, I think they are a bit of my excuse.

This brings me to the difference between wanting and getting what you want. I want those two things because they offer a change, a chance to live life at least a little differently and not regret I hadn't done more. But getting to these things is scary, change is scary. But the difference between those who succeed at getting what they want and those who don't is action. Everyone wants a change at some point in their lives, but not everyone acts on it. No one ever said they got what they wanted by just willing it to happen...

I'm going to take the next step, it is just a matter of when, where, how, and actually going after the things I want and not being afraid of getting them.

Regret is no fun

This is a conclusion I came to a long time ago. I once told my Mom that I didn't believe in regret while on a walk. She stopped for a second, cocked her head, and said "What? You regret nothing?" To this day, I can honestly say no.

Chris Brogan posted a great video today about regret. Chris Blake, a alternative pop musician, recently Googled "Biggest Regret." Some of my favorites from his finds:

"Not traveling enough."

"Not grabbing the most gorgeous girl I've ever seen in my life when I had the perfect opportunity."

"Not leaving sooner."

"Not speaking up"

"My lack of control."

"Not growing up to be a Transformer."

"Not telling him how I feel."

"Sweating the small stuff"

"I don't regret anything."

The overwhelming repetition in the quotations above, the word "Not." What I have learned is that "Not" doing something, is usually worse than doing it. No matter how ridiculous or stupid it may feel at the time, you will never regret that you didn't do something. Of course, use digression, but if something absolutely feels right, than why wait for it to become wrong? Their are definitely things in my life I could regret:

1. Not listening to my father when he told be not to attend the ski race that would result in me pulling my ACL and derailing my ski career.

2. Not calling my Nana or Grandfather more o while in college before they died.

3. Not staying in the Virgin Islands to return to work on Martha's Vinyard and having one of the hardest summers of my life.

Each one of those decisions has lead me to where I am today, and I like where I am today. Deciding that the decisions you make are not the "end all" means that they are launching off points for your life to take a different direction. Is the direction always easy? Certainly not. However, I think instead of focusing on regretting decisions, I learn from them. Yes, I might make the same mistakes a couple times, but I'll get it eventually. The biggest thing is having faith in the decisions you make.

Do you have regrets?

The "Change" We Want to See in Ourselves

So going to give you a little insight into how I think, I know, dangerous. I was at the gym today reading Seth Godin's new book Meatball Sundae about in order for a company to become successful in utilizing New Marketing, they must first change the way their company works. His point is that you cannot sell old products (meatballs) successfully using ONLY New Marketing (whipped cream).

So as I was reading, Michael Jackson's Man in the Mirror came on during my workout mix. Please hold judgment, Michael had his fine moments. So I started thinking about how you could apply the similar analogies to making changes in your personal life. If you simply make a physical change, you cannot make the assumption that other aspects of your life are going to improve. In actuality, you have to start at square one. Think about the goals you want to accomplish, the people you want to surround yourself with, the relationships you want to create, and then start implementing small changes that will make those goals a reality. In order to change the greater direction of your life, you need to start with the basics of how you are living.

Just a thought :)